How to Convict Someone According to the NFL…

goodell role model

Step 1: Accuse someone of doing something. (Evidence not required)

Step 2: When asked about your accusation say, “There was general chatter in (fill in community desired) and we suspected this for awhile due to (insert personal experience).

Step 3: Release a report with the general conclusion being, “Yeah I didn’t find anything but I mean c’mon the guy definitely did it/knew about it/has done it before.

Step 4: Release the hounds.

Did you hear Roger Goodell likes to fuck ice cream sundaes? I know weird right? Apparently he just scoops out some ice cream, flavor doesn’t matter to him so much, puts the bowl in the middle of his bed and goes to pound town on it. Heard he licks everything up when he’s all done too. At least, that’s whats been going around the internet. I saw a picture on reddit, his wife supposedly posted, of him balls deep in a bowl of Breyers. Really ruined ice cream for me for awhile. Did everyone see the report that makes it seem like Goodell at least likes ice cream and probably also fucks it? If that’s not proof that he’s been using his dipstick to make his own blizzards I don’t know what is. “Proud to serve this man” That text could be interpreted a lot of ways. I bet what they meant was “Proud to service this man….sexually…with our ice cream”

Man Goodell’s legacy is gonna be tarnished after this. Not sure they let ice cream fuckers have a job in the NFL.



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