An Unknown Object has Blocked Big Bertha from Drilling


This is Big Bertha. She is not a hefty Southern woman with a lust that can’t be quenched. She is in fact a 57.5 diameter drilling machine…See what I did there. In Seattle they’re digging a huge tunnel, for an underground highway. Apparently, a tunnel is more earthquake safe than a raised highway. I’m not an engineer don’t ask me. Anyway, this behemoth of metal and drilling power is stuck beneath the city of Seattle. Because the front of this drill has no windows or anything they have no idea what is blocking Bertha. Just get out and check for yourself you say? Well to prevent tunnel collapse they pressurize the tunnel, so they haven’t been able to shore up the tunnel to allow them to go poking around down there. So for now its all pure speculation.

Leading theory is that its some giant ass boulder, left there from years ago when glaciers shaped the landscape or something lame like that. Another theory is that its a sunken building or something from the ruins of old Seattle. Boring.

My hope is for an alien spacecraft. I’m kind of tired of the world right now. Pretty much seen it all at this point. Lets shake things up a bit. New technology. And don’t tell me about the iPhone 5 like that’s new technology. I have the 4S. Same friggin thing. I’m talking about flying cars, shields, insanely fast computers, virtual gaming arenas. Stuff like that. Hurry up and figure it out Seattle.


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