Kids Today are Less Fit Than Their Parents Were at that Age


I’m shocked. Absolutely SHOCKED. You mean to tell me the rising epidemic of obesity in the youth has led to a DECREASE in cardiovascular health. Well color me surprised. I sure as shit didn’t see that coming. Kids should be taking this seriously. This is a challenge kids. Adults are saying when they were you’re age they could kick your ass. Are you gonna stand there and take it?! Oh. I’ll wait for you to finish your Happy Meal before you answer that question. 

Luckily for me I know I could have kicked my parents asses at feats of athleticism when they were my age. Really at any age. And by feats of athleticism I mean running. My Dad was like 6 ft 200lbs as a freshman. I was like 5 ft 100lbs. So he would have stuffed my ass in a locker if I’d given him any guff. 

“…the government has urged municipalities and schools to promote youth fitness.” Statements like these always blow me away. Have we just lost all accountability? “Kids are unhealthy!? Well the government better do something about that!” Seriously. As a parent, if your kid is unhealthy its on YOU, fucking dickhole. Don’t go to the government and ask them to stop making delicious fast food and candy. Maybe tell your child they can’t have that shit because its fucking bad for you. Maybe actually parent your kid and teach them how to be a healthy adult instead of letting them run your life. I can’t say it enough but NUT THE FUCK UP. 

When I was growing up, you know what I ate for snacks. A FUCKING CARROT. I took a whole carrot peeled it myself, cause I’m not a fucking inbred coddled sack of shit, and ate it. You think I fucking liked carrots over Doritos? OF COURSE NOT! But did we have Doritos in my house? OF COURSE NOT! Cause they’re fucking bad for you. (Side note: My neighbor did have Doritos so if I went over her house I would eat them. Problem was they gave me the worst gas of all time. Just deadly, deadly farts. Countries have been invaded over less. So I would get in deep shit if I let those rip cause then my mom would know I was eating junk).

Maybe we don’t buy our kids a smartphone or a video game system or a fucking tablet and do sports with them instead. Buy a bike. Buy a glove. Buy a ball or a basketball hoop. Sign them up for something. Stop acting like its the governments fault that your kids are out of shape and shitty. 


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