Chicken Nuggets are 50% Chicken… At Best!!


I mean at this point is it surprising to anyone? Seriously, did you actually think anything you could buy for $1 contained “100% white meat chicken” or “Premium breast meat”. You get what you pay for folks, in this case you pay for dog food with flavor additives that make it taste like people food. 

As Americans I think we’re really making a stand. We’re saying, “I don’t want to know what’s in my food and I don’t care! If its cheap and tastes remotely good I’ll shove it in my facehole!” Kudos to us. When the bar is this low it really makes it easy for people to enter the food industry. 

I’m contemplating starting my own food chain. I’m gonna take dirt, mix it with salt, pepper and MSG, and deep fry it. Call them Popplers (note: I am stealing this from Futurama. Shut up). Sell ’em for a dollar a dozen, and I’ll market them as 100% food. Given that you can have something thats 50% chicken and say its 100% premium meat, I think its a pretty safe bet I can call deep fried dirt 100% food. The MSG counts right? 

I’ll see you bitches when I’m the fast food king pin of Popplers. 


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