BOOM! Drug prevents neurodegeneration in mice. The mice had Alzheimer’s they gave the mice the drug, the mice’s brains were fine. Big win. I’m confident that by the time I’m supposed to be “old” I might just be absolutely fine. Gonna get me some hobo ligaments and mechanical heart. Take medicine to keep my brain going strong and I’ll live forever.
The pitfall of breakthroughs like these is that “being old” may no longer be an excuse to commit crimes. Robbed a jewelry store? I’m old and thought I was in my jewelry room at my house so I took stuff. Hit someone with your car? I’m old. Who thought it was a good idea for me to have a license anyway? I didn’t do a lot of mischief as a preteen or teen so I had big plans for when I was an octogenarian.
Now I’m gonna have to be old AND live by the law. Fuck those commercials. In this case I don’t want AND. Fuckers. Hate that shit. “That would be like having a broken arm OR a broken leg. Yeah I like and way better”. Eat a dick whoever does those commercials.