Weather.com: I Hate You

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So I’ve wanted to blog about this for awhile. I don’t like weather.com. At all. Do I use it almost everyday? Obviously. You can’t beat that domain name. I’m not about to type in weatherunderground.com or thefuckingweather.com (Note: Thefuckingweather.com is great if you haven’t been there). Weather.com is far too simple for me to change my ways despite my intense hate for the website.

Obviously you’re wondering “But Captain Salami, why do you hate weather.com? All they do is bring you accurate weather reports.” WRONG! All they do post buzz words and nonsense articles to try to get as many hits as possible. “Super-Earth FOUND” what the fuck is that? I’m sure the meteorologists at weather.com know about super earths. “You won’t believe what this is”. I’ll tell you what weather.com I don’t need to know what ever the fuck stupid thing it is that that link will lead me to and you can go fuck yourself. 

“This will change the world FOREVER” seriously…seriously weather.com. That caption underneath what could be Sauron’s tower. The best is in the wintertime. That’s when accurate forecasts are thrown out the window in lieu of getting people’s attention. WINTER STORM COME AND LOOK AT OUR WEBSITE ABOUT TO HIT. This won’t be the last weather.com blog because its Fall and many of you are probably unconvinced that my deep seated hatred has any justification. But it does. MARK MY WORDS. 

Seriously though, maybe I should just name all my blog posts with attention grabbing nonsense. “THIS JUST IN…”, “THE WORLD WILL CHANGE FOREVER”, “THE SHIT THAT BROKE THE TOLIET”, “MY COLON WILL NEVER BE THE SAME”.

In closing fuck weather.com you fear mongering cocksuckers.  

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One thought on “Weather.com: I Hate You

  1. Karen S says:

    I’m glad there’s another Weather.com hater out there! I get so tired of Weather.com telling me about the weather 30 miles from here and showing there’s a light rain mist when it’s actually pouring.

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